Sunday, July 23, 2006
I'm an insomniac!
While I realise this condition is partly my own fault due to my addiction of caffeine, I also believe it to be a clash between my spiritual and physical being. My sleep deprivation results in my body failing me from time to time, it needs to catch up, recharge...rest!
My sleep pattern has been especially bad this week, on more than one occasion I have found myself gazing out of the window to see the sun rising like a fireball over the horizon, reminding me it is past 4am and I really should be in bed. I happily survive on approximately four or five hours of sleep a night but, understandably, when those few precious hours are compromised my body struggles to keep up.
My spiritual side remains alert, passionate, craving knowledge. I can think of a million things I would like to do, new ideas and inspiration run through my head like a hurricane but with no physical energy to file them into their allocated folders my head resembles a time bomb ..It is frustrating to say the least, I become irritable with myself, with all the will in the world I produce very little!
Or do I?
My mind is still spinning, so I'm obviously doing something.
I am seeing ...thinking, analysing, creating, painting, writing, dreaming, travelling, ... and all this I am doing in my mind. Sure, the more I add the more my head spins but my eyes and imagination are the only parts of me that I still have control over and, not one to give in easily, I make good use of them. All of the information swirls around meaning absolutely nothing right now but once my body is revived and my filing system in operable again I will have a feast of information to explore with my freshly charged batteries!
Until then...I'll try to be bearable to myself, find a nice cosy corner, sit back and admire the view!
"The fertile field becomes sterile without rest" - Spanish proverb